I’m feelin’ 22…by 32: 2016 Goals

*Crickets Crickets* Is this thing still there? Geez, it’s been a really, really long time since I blogged…but I’m back, and I hope that this outlet can help me as I work towards my goals for this wonderful new year.

I’ll be 32 in November and I’m starting to feel like I’m in my 30s…and I’m not particularly fond of feeling old. I don’t mind getting older – it’s better than the alternative – but I’m not ready to let go of my youth.

“…I don’t know about you, but I’m feelin’ 22…”
When I was 22 I was fun, happy, healthy, had less debt, had less junk and really just felt like I was more determined and more enjoyable to be around. So, the focus of 2016 is to feel like I’m 22 by the time I turn 32. Also – thank you Taylor Swift for theme idea which is loosely based on your very catchy tune.

So, where do I start? I figured it was worth laying out the list of goals I have for the year. Some are things I need to work towards and some are things that will either make me feel happier and/or things that I’ve wanted to do but haven’t for any number of reasons.

My List for 2016

  1. Get to a healthy, manageable weight which means losing approximately 72 pounds.
  2. Be more active by running/doing cardio at least 3x a week and completing a 5k and a 10k.
  3. Be more adventurous/spontaneous.
  4. Complete the 52 week savings challenge.
  5. Take a trip with Matt, Kaye and Eric.
  6. Defend dissertation proposal.
  7. Collect dissertation research.
  8. Plan/go on at least one date each month.
  9. Plan/attend at least one friend and/or family gathering each month.
  10. Organize and declutter the house room by room and closet by closet.
  11. Plan means, schedule workouts and blog weekly about my progress. Also – take pictures of progress.
  12. Get six pedicures.
  13. Make facial care/moisturizing a daily habit.
  14. Read at least one non-academic book a month.
  15. Complete a random act of kindness, donate money and/or volunteer at least once a month.
  16. Order spices from Penzey.
  17. Look more put together and wear make-up more often.
  18. Have a spa day (facial, massage, etc.).
  19. Go dancing!
  20. Decorate the house.

So far, I’m making baby steps towards each goal and look forward to tracking my progress throughout the year!

 

 

 

 

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Reset. Refocus. Reclaim. Rejoice?

Although I’m not just over two weeks post turning 30, I still haven’t really settled into being a “Thirtysomething.” While driving home from work yesterday I heard Tim McGraw’s song, “In my next 30 years” and for the first time actually listened to the words and felt a connection to the song.

“…I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years…”

What am I going to do with my next 30 years? I have so many goals, but often I do not stick to a plan and end up feeling very “woulda coulda shoulda” about things. How can I use this time to really push the reset button and start to refocus my prioritize? I think it’s something we all struggle with (and if you don’t struggle with this, please tell me your secrets).

If you read over my blogs from way back when to now, I have two reoccurring themes: Needing to lose weight and needing to be in a better financial place. I don’t want to spend the next decade taking a step forward only to take two steps backyards and away from my goals – and that’s exactly how I feel I spent the latter portion of my 20s.

I want to reclaim my happiness, my health and my financial freedom so that I can rejoice in the rewards and comfort that only a healthy body and financial security can bring to me. I don’t want to look back in a few months and especially not in a few years and feel that I’ve wasted any of my time.

Speaking of wasted, take a guess at what song played next on the radio? Carrie Underwood’s “Wasted.” Sirius Y2Country, it’s like you know me or something.

“I don’t wanna’ spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I’ve let all these years go by
Wasted…”

So here’s my commitment to myself – and to the blog world, whoever may be reading – before Monday I’m going to figure out a weekly updates/progress style post. I see this format being something along the lines of:

Weigh-in; % complete for savings goal; one or two simple goals for the week; a recap of the previous week; a motivational quote and whatever other random info I find/plan. I’ll probably try and incorporate my four R’s that I listed in my title: Reset, Refocus, Reclaim, Rejoice. Y’all know I like a good theme or play on words 🙂

#ThisIs30

Happy belated birthday to me! My 30th birthday was a week and a day ago! My friends and family were so kind to have a surprise party for me which I loved! I rang in 30 being unusually sick (bronchitis, severe neck issues and pain) but it was so nice to see so many of my loved ones share in my birthday celebration.

I originally had all these great things that I wanted to blog about and make all these great plans for my 30th year – and somehow, eight days later, I still haven’t committed to any of my goals or written out a plan.

I reckon it’s about time to fix that, don’t you think?

I loved my 20s. I learned, I loved, I lived but I’ve realized that I’m not the same person that I used to be. Obviously we all grow and change as that is a part of life, but I’ve morphed into a person I don’t always recognize. I don’t think I put enough effort into myself, which has led to me feeling (and being) frumpy, overweight and not nearly the same “fun, energetic” person I used to be and loved. How can I get back to being that person?

Overall for year 30, I want to focus on my health but I’ve said that for so long, what’s it going to to take to make a lasting change? I really don’t have the answers, but I need to make and COMMIT to a plan. I’m not rushing into anything or laying out a goal for the sake of setting one. I hope to have some clear deliverables by the time I turn 31 and I want to embrace being in my 30s and actually learn from the lessons.

I guess a good place to start is thinking about what are my end goals?

By the time I turn 31 I want:

  • To be under 200 pounds
  • To have saved one month of emergency expenses
  • To have passed my qualifying exams for my doctoral program
  • To run 30 minutes at least 3x a week
  • To take better care of myself (a little make-up wouldn’t hurt, better fitting clothes, etc.)

If those are my five areas I want to concentrate my efforts, then I should have no problem creating a plan and measuring the steps I take during the year. I will blog at least monthly to discuss my progress.

So, here goes nothing – cheers to 30!

100 Days Until 30!

It’s been a terrible month. There, I said it. Things started spiraling when I was in a small car accident June 21st and somehow that tumbled into the Fourth of July and just ended with vacation to Michigan and time off from work. Somehow it’s July 28, and I’ve put on quite a few pounds. 

It really (really) sucks to gain back weight that you had recently lost. Over the weekend I saw a special Weight Watchers was advertising for three months of monthly pass for a discounted rate that fit into my budget so I decided to sign up today. While I didn’t know it at the time, today is also 100 days until my 30th birthday. Perfect timing.

I wouldn’t say that this is a total restart, rather a fresh start. I still have some health and fitness goals that I want to accomplish, and I think I still have plenty of time to check some things off my list. Really, my main goal is to lose 30 pounds before turning 30. I will still have plenty of weight to lose after losing 30 pounds – but losing 30 pounds will still have me losing over 50 for 2014 and will get the wheels in motion for success and additional weight loss.

That’s my goal. I always lay out an elaborate plan and somehow end up side tracked, so I’m going to take my plan daily instead of weekly or monthly.

My plan for today:

1. Sign up for Weight Watchers: Check

2. Commit to a goal: Losing 30 pounds

3. Write a blog: 🙂

4. Take a walk after work: Pending

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, let alone the next 100 days but I’m continuing to make myself a happier, healthier me one day at a time.

Thrive On

Yesterday was day five of my personal 90-day challenge. I haven’t written much about my challenge, mainly because I always have the best of plans and the worst of follow-through; a quick glance back at previous blog entries will confirm that statement. Now that I am closing in on a week of staying focused and committing to my challenge, I’m ready to start blogging again on a more consistent basis.

My goals are simple:

  • My challenge runs from May 17-August 14, 2014
  • Recommit to Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps
  • Lose weight (at least 25 pounds)
  • Get at least 20 minutes of activity at least 5x per week and fully run a 5k at the end of my challenge
  • Organize various aspects of my life (academically, at home, at work)

Yesterday, my statuses on Facebook and Twitter both included the phrase, “Day 5 and ready to thrive!”

Thrive.

I’ve recently (as in, since yesterday) learned that I love the word thrive. It sounds…passionate, happy, motivating. I WANT to thrive. I NEED to thrive. So, I decided to look up the official definition of my word of the moment, and it made me love it even more:

Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines thrive as:

:  to grow vigorously :  flourish
:  to gain in wealth or possessions :  prosper
:  to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances
I am constantly in a perpetual state of “YAY I’m so excited to lose weight, this is my time to shine, this will be amazing,” and “Well, crap. Here I go again. Failure. I’m always going to be unhealthy.” Perhaps persistence is part of my process. Perhaps my journey includes moments of success, and times of rock-bottom failure. It might include many, many bumps in the roads, many restarts, slow progress and an relentless sense of “I can do it, even if now isn’t my time.”
Is it odd that I really think NOW is my time – my time to thrive. To flourish, to prosper and to realize my goal no matter the challenges? I have a different type of motivation right now. The carrot of turning 30 is dangling so close I can touch it, my health is at a potential crossroads and I don’t want to be the wife that “let’s herself go” now that she’s married.
Right now, there’s nowhere by my motivation and success to go up, and my weight to come down. I feel grounded in realistic expectations and I am holding on strong to my commitment to myself, to my husband and to those who are supporting me on this journey.
Thrive on.

Six months – 184 days – until my lightbulb switches on!

Ok, so not really – but in six months, I’ll be 30. As I’ve said before, I feel like my “lightbulb” on life magically turns on when I turn 30. Something about turning and being 30 just screams A-D-U-L-T to me. I’m not afraid of turning 30, rather I’m just a tiny bit sad to leave behind my 20s. I don’t want to “humble brag” at all, but I am so completely blessed with the things that happened in my 20s. All of the good and all of the bad – and especially the ugly – has made me who I am and you know what? I like me. I would totally be my friend.

There are two areas of my life that I’ve struggled with in my 20s. I hope to embrace those struggles and apply the lessons to this next decade so that I can be even happier and definitely healthier.

First, my health. I’m 29 and my weight continues to control and challenge my health and my life. Just today I was getting an echocardiogram because of a possible “larger than normal” heart. There is no way I can expect to live a happy, full and long life if I don’t take my health seriously. Yes, I’ve said this many (many, many) times before but I have been making some progress. I have lost 20 pounds since February, which is a great start but now I have to keep going.

Second, my financial peace is not exactly stable or peaceful. Hubs and I are blessed to have purchased a house in July and it has come with its own set of exciting moments and expensive lessons.

My goals for 30 include being at a healthy weight and having an active lifestyle as well as being financially stable. How do I get there? I lay a foundation beginning today, with six months (184 days) until I’m officially a 30 year old adult.

Here are my goals for the next six months:

1. Lose 71.5 pounds. With my current weight, it is not unhealthy or unrealistic to lose 8 to 10 pounds per month on average, give or take (hopefully give!). My current weight this morning was 270.5. I’d like to wake up on my birthday and see the scale say 199. Bring it, ‘one’derland!

2. Consistently run 30 minutes 4x per week – and not hate it. Is that possible? Who knows, but that’s my goal.

3. Complete – and maintain – Baby Step #1 from Dave Ramsey’s plan. While I’d like to say I’d like to save and maintain $5,000, being 30 means being realistic.

4. Be kinder to myself. I’m guilty of negative self talk. A 30 year old should be firm and have high expectations of herself, but she should also be as nice to herself as she is to other people. This isn’t measurable, but I’m ok with that.

5. Treat my skin better so that my nearly-40-year-old self won’t be mad at 30-year-old-self.

I’m confident there’s more, but for now, that’s all she wrote.

Emotional eating and failing to plan

So, about that Lightbulb/onward to the 30 challenge? Yeah, it’s been largely non-existent. I’m an emotional eater, and lately, I’ve been feeling all sorts of feelings that I really don’t want to feel.

It started when we lost Maggie almost two weeks ago. I’ve been in an emotional rollercoaster since then. I’ve been so sad about everything that happened with our sweet golden baby, then some financial things have thrown life into a bit of a stress field mixed with one of the toughest academic semesters…I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above the water.

So my answer to this? I eat. I eat a lot. And I eat a lot of things that no one has no business eating, especially in large quantities. The past two weeks, I feel like if you look at me the wrong way, I’ll burst into tears (and it has happened).

I still have plenty of time to reach my goals, but until I figure out a better way to manage stress and my emotions, I’m going to be fighting an uphill, losing and dangerous battle. To at least get a hold of things, even just a little, I’m going to set a plan for the next week:

Tuesday – create plan for Wed. Dec. 4-Tues. Dec. 10, make a meal plan, use week to figure out when exercising works best

Wednesday – weigh-in, weight watcher tracker resets, track food, talk a 15 minute walk at some point in the day, grocery shop

Thursday – track food, take a 15 minute walk at some point in the day

Friday – track food, take a 15 minute walk at some point in the day

Saturday – track food, take a 30 minute walk at some point in the day, do lots of homework, freezer cooking

Sunday – track food, take a 30 minute walk at some point in the day, more homework, cook/prep for the upcoming week

Monday – track food, take a 20 minute walk at some point in the day

Tuesday – track food, make plan for the next week including walking and meal plans as well as grocery list

Goals for the week: -Stick to plan
-Stay within weight watchers points
-No miscellaneous/random stops at stores, gas stations or restaurants for random food or drinks
-Not give into impulsive cravings

I’ve done a terrible job with planning recently. As the quote goes, “Failing to plan is planning to fail,” and that’s been so true for me lately. During the week, I get home from work and the very last thing I want to do is cook. I was joking to Peter that our neighbors probably think we never cook because we’ve had so much take-out lately which is a terrible plan for weight loss. I added freezer cooking to the plan and prepping because whenever I’ve lost weight, I’ve done a lot of prep and planning on the weekends. I need to have quick, ready to go meals either already made up, or easy to put together.

As weird as it sounds, I feel a little better already by just having a plan written down and committing to my goals for the week.

Maggie’s Story

I’m terrible at keeping surprises a secret. So, I didn’t want to blog until we officially had our new puppy girl, Maggie.

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A week ago on November 16th, we drove to McClure, PA and picked up the most gorgeous, most loving and happiest nine-week old golden retriever puppy. It really was love at first sight. No, really. I saw her picture online earlier in the week, sent Peter an email that said, “Puppy!!! Peter I love her” with the link to her picture. Then, when we were there, she came up to Peter, sat and looked up to him while he was leaning down and she gave him so much love and so many puppy kisses. If we didn’t already know it before, we knew this beauty was meant to be our girl.

We talked with the seller and, in hindsight, I realize how shady the ordeal was…we didn’t receive a receipt, we didn’t receive any papers, and the seller said she was selling “Majesty” for a friend. We didn’t care; we loved her and knew we’d give her a good home and all the love in the world.

Before going to get her, we had tossed around different names and kept coming back to Maggie. It sounded like Majesty (sort of) and it went really well with Mollie, our chihuahua’s name. Maggie and Mollie, our perfect little M&M.

On the drive home, Maggie sat curled in my lap the entire ride and I fell even more in love with this perfect little puppy. She was, perfect. She had the exact coloring we wanted and the perfect mix of playful puppy with the gentleness of the golden breed. Peter and I have talked for YEARS about wanting a golden baby. Before we bought our house, Peter and I had joked that the next day after we had a house, he’d come home with a golden puppy. Four months and five days after closing on our house, we did indeed bring our golden puppy into our home and into our hearts.

We took Maggie to the vet on Sunday and she had some minor puppy issues – nothing the medicine wouldn’t fix. We were thrilled that our girl appeared healthy and the things that weren’t healthy, were an easy fix. She had a very rough Sunday night with the medicine and I feel guilty to say that we questioned our decision to bring her home. Not because we didn’t love her – we did – but because I thought she would wake up our neighbor, or that she would give my mom a hard time during the day.

Monday through Wednesday were great days! She did fairly well at my mom’s house, I took her for a walk each day during lunch, she commuted to work with me and everyone who met her fell instantly in love with our adorable puppy. She had these beautiful puppy eyes! And her little puppy eyelashes. Someone please find me anything cuter in the world than a golden puppy – I dare you to try. (And I can say that without being a bad dog mom because I didn’t see Mollie girl as a puppy; she was a year and a half when she bounced into my life.)

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My little commuting buddy

While at home, Maggie began to show us parts of her personality. Sweet and loving, as she liked being held like a baby. My absolute favorite moments with Maggie were when I would hold her like a baby with her snout by my neck. She would fall asleep then somehow flip her little head over, backside down, onto my face then continue to roll her head/part of her body onto the other side of my neck. We called it the puppy scarf. Silly and playful, as she loved nothing more than chewing on the tassels of our area rug, chewing on the table, chewing on the woodwork, chewing on my wedding rings…she was quite the chewer! We joked that she was going to think her name was “No” because we told her no a lot and then would replace whatever she was chewing on with one of her toys: a red and green rope, a leopard print stuffed animal, a red and green ball, a red and green rubber ball (it’s close to Christmas; all toys are red and green it seems) and her favorite pink and white “puppy love” toy from our good friends Michelle and Jason.

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Me and my puppy scarf

Nosy little sister, as she was constantly following Mollie around and coaxing Mollie to play. While they weren’t the best of friends (yet! It was only a matter of time before Maggie would have cracked Mollie’s code), Mollie did enjoy Maggie’s body heat. Mollie would be under the blanket on the couch and Maggie would lay on top of Mollie over the blanket. Right now, both girls were about the same weight. Maggie weighed 7.52 pounds on Sunday and on Thursday, she weighed 7.3 pounds.

We loved her and her silly personality. She was like a defiant child sometimes. When we would tell her no, if she was REALLY enjoying whatever she was doing, she would bark at us then look to play. She was also really smart! In the few days that we had her, she was already learning (I swear!) to go to the door when she needed to go outside. When she was at my mom’s house, though she didn’t have training, she used the puppy pad twice. Such a smart girl. Smart girl, beautiful girl…but she had some very unique puppy breath. So much so that I asked the vet on Sunday if that was normal. The vet asked what was wrong with Maggie’s breath and I said, well she smells like a skunk. We may or may not have called her Skunk Breath. All in love.

Actually, there were times I called her my Klutzy Skunk or Clumsy Skunk. She hadn’t grown into her body so she was awful clumsy and it was amazingly adorable. She would bound off the couch and kinda spread out as she landed, she would try and jump on the couch but couldn’t quite jump yet. On our Wednesday walk, she fell into a pile of leaves and let out the saddest yelps but she was fine. Silly girl.

Then Wednesday came and so did the beginning of Maggie’s symptoms. My mom called me and told me Maggie had diarrhea. I was worried but not super concerned because I knew diarrhea was a side effect of the medication. Then it happened again…for a total of five times in a 24 hour period. We were later told this was her “shedding” her symptoms as that’s what happens in puppies with parvo. I called the vet and they said we could do a drop off on Thursday morning and they would take a look at our girl.

When I dropped her off, I was worried about her being there all day by herself, but like I said, everyone loved her and we were assured she would be up front so she could see people. Oh I wish that would have been true. One thing that hurts the most is knowing most of her last day she was in isolation by herself. Which we understand, she was extremely contagious and we would not want any other families to go through the loss of their furbabies like we have, we wish our girl could have been held and loved on all day.

I had spoke with the doctor earlier in the morning on Thursday and they said they were going to test for parvo, mainly to rule it out. Oh how I wish they had been able to rule it out. Instead, as I was driving to the bank during lunch, I learned that Maggie tested positive for parvo. A fresh wave of emotions ran through us…parvo is often deadly, but with (very) expensive treatment, sometimes puppies can survive. Sometimes. We received an estimate of $3,000-$5,000 to treat her, but with no guarantee of survival – and that estimate was before we learned everything else that was wrong with our poor puppy. Our hearts sank. We couldn’t afford that kind of treatment, but, I have no doubt that if it came down to it, we would have signed of for the Care Credit plan which helps families pay for expensive treatments for their pets. Maggie was ours and we would have tried to save her.

To see how far along her parvo was, the doctor suggested running some blood tests. This would tell us if it was likely the treatment may have worked. We were eager for those results. Since Maggie was so happy and alert, it was possible she had a chance to survive. I talked to the doctor again around 5:30pm and was told her red blood cells were low and her white cells were a little on the low side.

About 6:30 or so, Peter came home and we drove to the vet. By the tone of the doctor’s voice all day and seeing her face, I knew it wasn’t good. Can I just say – sometimes, the universe is a jerk. When we walked into PetSmart to get to the vet, there was a full-grown, happy as a clam golden retriever. Punch right to the heart.

When we got back to the vet, she explained that Maggie’s red blood cells were low and that Maggie was anemic. She also explained that our puppy also had protein leaking from her intestines into the rest of her frail body. Maggie needed a blood or plasma (forgive me, the details are a bit foggy) transfusion. The vet and the staff were so amazing. All of them felt our pain and you could tell they loved our sweet girl. With tears in all of our eyes, it was determined that the best thing to do was to end Maggie’s short, yet meaningful life. We were doing what was best for our baby but the pain of that decision is heavy and pierces our hearts more than I ever imagined.

Peter and I got to go back to the isolation ward and spend some time with Maggie. We had to put on special covers over our shoes and then had to put our feet in bleach when we left the isolation area. We hugged her, we told her we loved her, we promised we would never forget her and just marveled at her beauty. She gave us puppy kisses and looked so happy to see us. We adored that little puppy, even if she was only ours for a few days.

I know I sound dramatic, but Maggie deserved the chance for a happy, healthy life and I feel like we failed her even though we knew we had to end her suffering. She was only going to get sicker. The vet explained the end of life process and within five minutes, she was gone. Just like, she plopped her little sleepy puppy head on my chest one last time, I kissed her goodbye and she was gone.

Knowing how sick she was, it makes her happiness, love and playfulness even more remarkable. What has really sucked is that because parvo is so contagious and so awful, we’ve had to throw away or bleach anything Maggie touched. It’s like she never existed – but she did. She was so loved and it hurts we couldn’t even keep her toy, her bed, anything. I called Friday morning to see if we could get a paw print, but due to Maggie’s illness we weren’t even able to get a stamp of her paw. We also had to throw out Mollie’s toys since they played with them together. Mollie has had her toys for so long, including her favorite pink one a friend gave to her and it pained me to throw it all out.

We promised Maggie we would never forget her and we won’t. Her life mattered. She rooted herself deeply into our hearts and we cherish the time we had with her. I wanted to write down her story so that everyone else could get a glimpse into the short, but sweet life of our beautiful puppy girl. We are very grateful for the outpouring of love and kind words everyone has sent our way. We are fortunate to know so many caring, thoughtful people.

We love and miss you, Maggie.

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Sleepy, beautiful girl. September 15, 2013-November 21, 2013

Budgeting and Beginnings

Generally speaking, I really stink at budgeting. I try. I really do.

I’m not the best at budgeting my time, budgeting money can often be a struggle but I am the absolute worst at budgeting my food.

I understand the concept. You get x-number of calories, x-number of carbs, x-number of points, etc. I also understand that once your x-number is out, you’re allegedly supposed to be done. Allegedly.

A quote that my friend Valerie told me awhile back and one I’ve shared in a previous blog goes something like, “If you don’t like starting, don’t stop.” I need to hold myself accountable and not allow myself to throw in the towel. There will be bad days, or just not so good days, but that’s not an excuse to give up.

I’ve tried viewing my relationship with food in so many different ways. I’ve been carb-free (huge success…until it wasn’t), low-fat, low-calorie, no fat, juice detox, soup detox, etc. I’ve also tried Weight Watchers and their various points plans.

I believe that Weight Watchers is a great program. My doctor liked that I was doing Weight Watchers and I feel like there are some really positive aspects of the program.

The problem for me is my lack of budgeting skills. In the past, I’ve went over my points for the day or the week and then I stopped tracking (giving up on healthy habits is kind of a trend for me once things get derailed…). On the other hand, when I have been successful at losing weight, I have tracked my food.

This morning – officially day 1 – I  re-signed up for the Weight Watchers program, but this time I’m only doing the online eTools. There are pros and cons of only doing the online version, but I truly feel like blogging on a regularly (daily?) basis will be just as beneficial for me as going to the meetings. Whereas the meetings were once a week, blogging each day will make me accountable to the good, the bad and the ugly of every single day.

Day 1 wasn’t the most perfect day, but you know what? It’s actually be the healthiest day I’ve had in months and for me, that’s a win. I’ve set a simple goal for week one that doesn’t have a tangible item attached to it. I’m not trying to lose x number of pounds, or even commit to tracking every single bite of food, rather my goal for week one is to recognize the good choices I’m making and reflect on how I can make better choices in other situations.

Goal for week one: Focus on finding the positives in imperfection. 

 

 

Happy Birthday to Me!

The title of this blog is actually misleading. Yes, it is literally my birthday but I feel like I’m saying happy birthday to a new me.

A new me who will (finally) stop putting my health last on my to-do/priority list.

A new me who will (finally) stop making excuses for my weight, for not working out, for “trying” but not “doing” better.

A new me who will (finally) be the me I want to be.

First what are my goals? I thought about doing a cutesy “30 before 30” list and realized I don’t want to put anything on my list of goals just to put it there. What’s actually important to me? With that in mind, here are my goals to accomplish in the next 365 days:

1. Lose 100 pounds. And subsequently maintain my weight loss.

2. Get a “clean bill of health” from my doctor which is coupled with take better care of myself as an overall/general goal.

4. Work up to running 3x a week for at least 30 minutes. (which leads me to #5…)

5. Fully run a 5k. (This has been a long-time goal.)

6. Save one month of expenses in an emergency fund. (I feel that by 30 I should be more responsible with our finances.)

7. Wear a bathing suit without fear or shame.

8. Complete estate planning with Peter. (No one ever wants to think about it, but it’s something that everyone needs to do.)

9. Fit into my “skinny jeans” I’ve kept around, just in case.

10. Rock a super cute ‘little black dress.’

Don’t we all owe it to ourselves to be the best version of ourselves we can be? If I were happy and healthy at my current weight, it would be one thing – but I’m not. Frankly, I’m miserable. My body aches under the extra weight. My wardrobe is laughable because of the few things that somewhat fit. When I see myself, I don’t see curves, only fat. I have become such a homebody. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing nothing and having no where to go, but it’s come to a point where I’d rather stay at home than put myself and my weight on display.

And Peter, he’s practically a saint for putting up with me. I complain about being overweight, but usually the complaints come as I’m drowning my pity in a pizza, or ice cream, or whatever craving I’m having at that moment. When he tries to help, I give up or I’m really cranky. He’s been so supportive and he asks that we eat healthier and work out together. It’s really me who has been holding myself back.

So, I have my “top 10 for 30.” I have the motivation. I have the want for a better, happier, healthier, more confident, more comfortable life.I have what it takes to be successful.

Happy birthday Ashley – you can do this.

Love,

-Yourself